music

i wanted a place to write about my favorite albums! this is that place!

Origami Angel - Somewhere City

i think that this album changed my life in a way that nothing else ever has. when i first listened to it i was a depressed mess. the two years of isolation i was facing at college finally hit me. i could barely make it to any of my classes, let alone get out of bed on the average day. i considered a day to be good if i managed to eat one meal and had showered in the past 72 hours. i felt like i had failed everything, my life was essentially over. but one day, as i was doomscrolling through tiktok, i discovered math rock. math rock led to midwest emo, and midwest emo led to fifth wave emo. at the time all i listened to was j-pop that was hard and kinda embarrassing to explain to friends, so i was happy i finally found something i could enjoy that was in english and maybe more socially acceptable (it isn't). i wouldn't say i was completely sold on the genre at the time, but i found the whiny white boy vocals and twinkly little riffs enjoyable enough. finally, i found a reddit post recommending origami angel. i decided to listen to them one day on my bus ride to campus, and a lot of it kinda went through one ear. i wasn't really listening to it that much, i guess. but then the title track came on. and suddenly i understood it.

what got me first wasn't the lyrics. it was the sound. i don't know if i can even explain it. but i remember so distinctly, the sound of syncopation towards the end of the title track, is exactly what drew me in. when i first heard it, i knew that i had to replay the song immediately. and this time, i listened to the lyrics too.

im way too embarassed to play this album around other people. in all honesty, the lyrics are just really cheesy. but that cheesyness is exactly what i love so much about it. the entire album is completely unapologetic for its toxic positivity. even though everything sucks, you can just pretend that it's not. somewhere out there is a city where everything is amazing and you'll be happy and you can be who you want to be. when every other song i was listening to was screaming about how life sucks and how nothing will ever get better, origami angel was screaming about how life is awesome and it's cool to just hang out and do shit. they were telling me that life *could* get better. it was stupid, but it worked on me. i realized that the city really WAS never far away. i don't need to just sit around and be sorry for myself.

somewhere city gave me the courage to stop letting things happen to me. a few months later i was able to transfer out of my college and find one that made me happier. it made me realize that i could be happy if i just stopped being sad, and yes, i could just stop being sad. it made me realize that i wasn't a worthless failure, my life wasn't over. all i had to do was find my somewhere city.

six months after i discovered origami angel, i got to see them live. at this point i had transfered out of college and was working at an internship. i was still working on myself, but i was so much happier. watching them go on stage made me cry. when they played the title track, i cried again. i made it.

origami angel never lets me down.